Saturday evening, March 14 was when my mother and I decided to quarantine in an effort to keep her safe from the Coronavirus. She’s 87. Stubborn as a mule. This decision was before the Governor issued the Stay at Home order, so I was rather pushy about it.
The first week went okay. I’ve been working at home for years, so not much changed for me in that regard. I finish my work day, and prepare dinner for my mother and I. We sit over the kitchen table with a cup of tea. I’m itchy to get the dishes cleared but she wants to sit for a bit. So, I sit. It takes me back to when I was growing up and my parents would linger over a cup of coffee after dinner talking, while my sister and I cleaned up. Old habits for her, I suppose. It’s sort of sweet to see her slip back into it.
After the dishes are cleared, we watch the Netflix series, The Crown. She is fascinated by the history- much of it happening when she was raising her own family. I love seeing her happy. This little thing- watching and sharing a TV show together. What a blessing. Our groceries are delivered so we are able to avoid the stores . We have settled into a routine.
It is the strangest feeling to look out my window to see kids riding their bikes, people walking their dogs, to hear the birds singing and see the daffodils poking their sunny yellow faces in all their glory for me to admire. It’s Springtime! Amazing. Amazing that something so uncertain and unseen is lurking right around the corner when things inside seem so normal. It’s surreal. Some days I can’t get my arms round it all.
The hard part for me has been not being able to see my kids and grandkids. Not being able to touch them, to hug them. My oldest son and his wife just had their second child. She’s beautiful, and I miss sharing in that new baby excitement with them.
But when I’m feeling sorry for myself, it’s as if I can hear my mother whisper in my ear, “At least it’s not raining”. Oh, I thank God for that woman. I thank God for her wisdom in raising us to see the world through her Rose Colored Glasses. She made life less scary. And it’s less scary now because I believe with every ounce of breath within me that we can find something good from this tragic situation. There is ALWAYS collateral beauty.
There are days when I’m sad, but most days I’m thankful for my health and for the health of those I love. I’m thankful for my family. I’m thankful for the ability to work from home. I’m thankful for the healthcare workers and all essential workers. I’m thankful for my two faithful Golden Retrievers. I’m thankful for my cockatiel. I’m thankful for my fish. I’m thankful for my worm farm. I’m thankful for the greenhouse sitting in my dining room, growing vegetables and flowers. I’m thankful for my neighbors and how we check in on each other. And when things become overwhelming, I’m thankful for prayer.
I’m hoping that this time in history can be a time for reflection, for a reset of priorities and for positive change. A time of Faith, of love, of kindness.
Peace,
Susan
My envy is real. Mere weeks ago, as Ashley was struggling with cancelling the wedding she spent a year planning and a lifetime envisioning, my thoughts slipped back to my mother. Mike and I both commented on the fact that if ever there was a time that we both needed to call Mom, this was it. But, we managed to get through it all, and it was beautiful. I must tell you that the morning of “the wedding”, Michael & I we’re putting our shoes on in the den of our rental, and I glanced outside to see a cardinal perched on a branch, then it jumped onto the deck, then it hopped to the door & just watched us. When I told Ashley the story of that little cardinal, I explained that it meant someone from Heaven was visiting. Immediately, her eyes brimmed with tears. “Mommy”, she said, “as Kevin & I opened our wedding gifts to one another this morning, there was a cardinal perched on the window sill the entire time.” The next morning, as we all packed up and prepared to head home, I watched and watched out the window, hoping to see that cardinal. And as the moments passed, and it never appeared, I realized I didn’t need it to come back. I knew she was there, and she knew I could get through it all. Please give your mama a kiss from me❤️
I believe our loved ones come to us when we need them. So happy for everyone in the marriage of Ashley. Hugs, dear friend.